4 Things You Need to Know Before You Start Blogging

Have you ever thought about starting a blog?

I toyed with the idea once or twice myself before I finally did. As much as I love to write, I hate blogs. Everything about them. My thoughts are, who has time to read blogs? …much less keep up with writing one? AmIRight?

Plus, there are just so many out there already! As of 2013, there were 152 million blogs on the internet. [1] As of 2:46pm on Feb 17^th, 2017 there had already been 2.9 million blog posts posted THAT DAY alone.[2]

I figured if I did ever start one, I would make it about two months and never remember to post again. Fizzle out. Like so many other bloggers do. In fact, research shows the average blog is dead after a mere 100 days.

So I never started one. Until I did. Sunday was the two year anniversary of my first blog post.

So, why did I start one?

Because in one conversation with my mentor, she told me if I ever wanted to get a book contract with a publisher, I needed this thing called a platform, and blogging was generally a good way to start building one of those.

So, Feb 19^th, 2015, I opened a WordPress account and copy/pasted something I’d already written as a facebook post as my first blog entry. (I know, I totally cheated.)

But since that first post, I’ve learned a few things. Here’s what I want you to know, that I wish I had known then:

Know that blogging is not for the faint of heart. But it’s worth it.

Baring your soul for the whole world to see is not easy – even for us extroverts.

There’s a Special Thanks page in the back of my book and my editor’s name is first on the list. This is part of what I wrote to her: Turning over a first book (or maybe any book? I don’t know yet) for editing is kind of like tearing open your soul and inviting someone to walk inside. It’s exposing the most intimate parts of your inner self and trusting that person not to return pieces of you shattered and bloody.

It’s the same with blogging.

There are some posts I write that are so vulnerable I want to throw up after I hit the “publish” button. I don’t know if my words and my heart will be received appropriately. What if the message I was trying to convey is misinterpreted? Or what if I just sound stupid, or whiny, or self-centered, or entitled….

I vividly remember feeling this way about a post I wrote regarding race relations during some of the tense riots that happened over the last few years. (You can read that post here: www.RachelDawnWrites.com/blog/Color-blinded)

I have been super fortunate to this point that I haven’t gotten any extremely negative, critical or harsh comments about anything I’ve written. But I know as my platform grows, it’s inevitable.

.facebook_1460409929320 I heard a speaker at a writing conference say, “When you’re marketing anything in life – whether it’s chicken sandwiches or books – there is a 1% jerk factor in the world. One percent of people who are just negative and critical for the sake of being negative and critical. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. You could offer the best thing in the world, that 99 other people love, but this 1 person will find something wrong with it and a reason to complain.” Expect it, Accept it, Move on. It’s not you, it’s them.

Your message will resonate with some people and not with others, and that’s ok. You can get really derailed really fast if you try pleasing everyone with every post. That’s just not reality.

Pick you niche, hone your voice, find your audience, and write meaningful stuff for them. Period.

Any self-doubt, second-guessing, fear, uncertainty or criticism is totally worth it when someone responds to something you’ve written with, “me too”, “that’s exactly how I feel”, “I thought I was alone”.

Know that it sucks. No one will read it (at first). You will want to quit.

I understand that’s 3 things in one bullet point, but they are all the same.

Recently a photographer friend of mine posted: “Being a [creative] entrepreneur is just waves of ‘I just want to quit’, ‘this is crap’, ‘I’m deleting social media’, and occasionally, ‘Man, I was really made to do this.’”

When you spend hours working on one post, upload it, and keep refreshing your wordpress stats every 15 mins only to see that only 6 people look at it and no one comments….. you kiiiind of feel like throwing in the towel.

What’s the point of writing, of investing your time and emotional/mental energy, if no one even cares?

I don’t have an answer to this one. Because I found myself asking this very same question this week. After two years of blogging I have 33 “subscribers” to my blog. Even some of my most loyal readers, who tell me they love every post I write, aren’t subscribed and they don’t regularly share my posts with their networks. So I get it, it’s really discouraging.

But I’m learning there are ways you can hone your voice and your craft to increase those numbers, to increase your effectiveness.

I came across some incredible free training just this week that’s helping me with streamlining my posts to get more traction and shares. Ruth Surkamp founder of Elite Blogging Academy, author of “How to Blog for Profit: Without Selling Your Soul”, is offering this free series online right now. Check it out: https://ruthsoukup.leadpages.co/blogging-made-simple-2017-video-1/?inf_contact_key=bd1f84da626e39d8eb703404e962fc6161c1d1a4683a3ab7fb02ce596d2ae12f

I got tons of practical, immediately applicable tips from the very first video. I completely restructured this post I had already started after watching it and learning what I did. Thank you for that Ruth!

Know WHY you are blogging.

The quickest way to get frustrated and stop blogging is if you start a blog before you know why you are starting a blog. There are definitely tips and tricks and skills you can learn to blog more effectively, depending on what your goals are. But if you don’t know what your goals are….. you can’t hit them.

Ask yourself, why are you blogging? Is it just for fun? Are you just blogging for yourself, a literal personal web-log or diary? Are you blogging to tell stories to your close family and friends? Are you trying to use blogging as a source of income? Are you trying to expand your network/platform/reach/tribe/influence – whatever you want to call it – to get your voice and your message out there? Are you trying to make an impact? Change people’s lives? Raise awareness? Be an expert? Start a movement?

Even if it’s just to make people laugh or to feel inspired, you need to ask yourself: What is your purpose in blogging?

I came face to face with this question shortly after I launched my blog and my online platform, when Facebook asked me “What business am I in?” I stared at the blank box with the blinking cursor in it for a solid half hour while I asked myself, why am I doing this anyway? I came up with a pretty solid answer I shared in this post here: www.RachelDawnWrites.com/blog/what-business-am-i-in.

What it boiled down to in 160 characters or less was:

“I am in the business of restoring hope, igniting dreams, inspiring change, and leading people toward freedom.”

And out of that whole exercise came my business tagline, “Restoring Hope, Igniting Dreams”.

That’s why I blog. That’s why I study how and work to increase my platform. Because the more people my blogs can reach, the more people’s lives I can impact and influence for the better. Which is literally the reason I was created in the first place.

Blogging helps me move in the direction of my purpose. That’s a good investment of time and energy.

You need to ask yourself if it is for you.

Know You Have Something Worth Saying.

Who was I to start a blog? What did I have to say that people would be interested in and that hadn’t already been said a thousand times. Who would want to read it? How would I stand out from all the others? Those were some of the questions I wrestled with that February two years ago.

counter (2) Reading all the overwhelming stats about how saturated the world of blogging is and thinking about all the work, potential roadblocks, discouragements and frustrations could easily make you throw up your hands and decide blogging isn’t worth it at all.

Or maybe you’re stuck in that place I was asking, “Who am I to do this?”

This week I taught the high school service at my church. We are in the midst of an all-church journey on identity, wherein we are identifying the lies and labels in our lives – who we think we are or who the world says we are – and replacing those with the Truth of who God says we are.

Part of the lesson this week was the story of Moses and his own identity crisis. Born a Hebrew slave, raised an Egyptian Prince, on the run after committing murder, Moses found himself pondering life as a sheepherder in the country. When seemingly out of nowhere, God called him to be the hero of the story; to lead the people of Isreal out of slavery in Egypt. His response to God was similar to mine when God told me to write a book (and subsequently start a blog), “Who am I, Lord? Who am I to be the hero or lead a people?”

God’s response was simple: It doesn’t matter who you are, Moses, what matters is Who is with you and Who is sending you. He told Moses to go into Egypt and tell people “I Am” (Yahweh) has sent me. That’s all the credibility and power Moses needed.

You were created for a purpose. Just like I was. Just like Moses was. Uniquely. There are 522d171b57ab75f123db71e966e47bfa seeds planted inside of you, talents and abilities, to help you succeed in that purpose. Writing – sharing your thoughts through written words – may very well be a part of that.

Lysa Terkeurst says this in her book “Uninvited”: “Remember that there is an abundant need in this word for your contributions….. your thoughts and words and artistic expressions…. Your exact brand of beautiful.”

Other people might have similar things to say, but there is only one you. You are the only person with your story, your experiences, your worldview, your voice.

Don’t let your doubts, fears, or insecurities stop you from doing what you were created to do.

What if, instead of agreeing to the mission, Moses had told God, “There are so many other Hebrew men more qualified for this than me, I’m out.”

Would the Isrealites still be in slavery today? Would thousands of lives be entirely different? Maybe. Likely not. Likely, God still would have accomplished His mission, but He would have used someone else to get it done. He could have found someone else to stand up to Pharoah and say, “Let my people go.” But the one life that certainly would have been different would have been Moses’. He would have lived out his days as a sheepherder, which was not what he was created to do.

If you decide not to let those words that are burning inside you get out, could God still get that message out through someone else? Of course. But then you won’t be living out what you were created to do either. And what kind of living is that?

So, blogging might be hard and it might suck and maybe you’ll never have more than 30 readers, and most of the time you’ll feel like giving up, but if it’s part of what you were created to do, you must.

And when you feel like quitting, just remember why you are doing it, Who sent you, and that you have something worth saying.

[1] http://www.patrickkphillips.com/blogging/research-the-average-blog-lifespan-isnt-very-long/

[2] www.Worldometers.info/blogs

11 Love Songs for the Lonely

I remember the first time I went grocery shopping alone as my marriage was disintegrating. Grocery shopping was something we had always done together.

I was walking the aisles feeling pretty sorry for myself already when suddenly the PA system starts playing some 98 Degrees love song that sparked a memory of the beginning of our relationship. The season of it that was white-hot and whirlwind and so certainly God-and-cosmic-universe-ordained. The part of our relationship that was nothing like what it was now. The part when I could have never imagined I would ever be grocery shopping alone again for the rest of my life. But here I was.

I absolutely lost it in right in aisle 9. Right there between the butternut squash and the Bandaids was my utterly broken heart on display for the whole store to see.

Nick Lachey’s words only pointed out the stark difference of the fairytale I had signed up for and the reality in which I currently stood. In those lyrics were broken dreams and unfulfilled longings and the end of life as I knew it. It felt like my whole chest was being torn open with every new stanza.

That’s how powerful music is. It stirs memories and emotions and dreams and desires. It validates and magnifies the things we already feel, or long to feel.

You are likely being inundated with love songs this week as the clocks draws nearer to striking February 14^th.

For those of you in that dizzying, blissful, infatuated “honeymoon phase” of a relationship, you are elated. Those of us who find ourselves in a good, healthy, solid place relationally will be pleasantly satisfied and reassured. But, for anyone who is walking the grocery aisle alone for the first time or for the first time in a long time, this post is for you.

Using the powerful tool that music is, I want to make you a Valentine’s Day playlist. I’m titling it, “Love Songs from A Father” and it’s filled with lyrics that let me know how loved and held and treasured and valued I was when that was the furthest from what I felt.

Take a listen and rest this week in The Arms of the One who will never, ever, ever let you go:

Want More? My Book, “Now What? A Story of Broken Dreams and the God Who Restores Them” tells more of the story from the fallout season of my divorce, and also includes a “Now What? Moment” playlist that helped me through that season.

5 Things to Remember if You’re Feeling Less-than-Loved

Love.

That’s the theme of the entire month of February.

But for upwards of 50% of the population of the U.S., that’s not a theme worth celebrating. This month only serves as a painful reminder of heartaches and disenchantment from the Disney fairy-tale dream they were promised by today’s culture.

My divorce papers were served to me in February of 2011. I was 25. And I found myself crying out, “Now What?” from the hopeless pit of despair in which I sat. Many of you reading these words right now will be sitting in that same place as this February 14^th rolls around. For you, it’s more like Singles Awareness Day. And my heart aches for you.

My desire is to bring you some Hope to replace your Hopelessness in this season.
First and foremost, please know you are not alone.

The hardest part of going through a divorce – or even a bad breakup – is how isolated you

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feel. Like you are the only person going through this. You are the only person who has thought the things you’re thinking or felt the feelings you’re feeling. But you’re not. As I travel around the country, the more people who open up and tell me their stories, the more I realize there is always someone who has been through, or is currently going through exactly what you are going through.

The most comforting words you can hear when going through a struggle are “me too”.

It wasn’t until I read stories of other people who had been through divorce that I could feel like, ok, I’m not alone and I’m not crazy.

We also have a Father who promises never to leave or forsake us. I understand, when you’re at your lowest, how easy it is to feel abandoned by Him. But I learned firsthand how untrue that was when I was in my rock bottom a few years ago. You can read the story in my book, “Now What? A Story of Broken Dreams and the God Who Restores Them”
Secondly, keep reminding yourself your story isn’t over yet. You may be having dinner at home by yourself this Valentine’s Day, but it won’t be like this every year for the rest of your life.

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I get it. It’s really, really hard when we go through a season of loneliness, loss, or grief to believe the heartache we feel will ever end. It’s difficult to see past our present circumstances and see how things could ever get better – especially when blissfully happy couples are being paraded in front of you on every TV commercial and magazine cover all month long. For a couple years, even hearing couples vow “till death do us part” at weddings only made me roll my eyes. But things will get better, I promise.

One day you will look back and see that this was just a season. Grief is always just a season. Let that season last as long as you want or need it too, but in your moments of clarity, remind yourself it is just a season. It will come to an end. Even though it feels like it won’t right now.

I recently heard a speaker say, “Whatever you’re going through will one day just be a sentence. A single sentence. Right now the situation may be consuming your life. But one day it will just be a sentence.”

For me it’s: “I was married previously.” Even though that was a four to five year fallout in my life…. Today it’s just a sentence.

What you’re going through right now does not have to define the rest of your life.

Maybe you ruined your marriage. You can pinpoint the exact reason(s) it ended, and blame them on yourself. I’ve been there.

In their book “Happily Remarried” David and Lisa Frisbee say this, “As we work with women who have experienced the end of a marriage, one of the most common themes that emerges is a profound sense of personal failure. Remarkably, even when a woman ascribes most of the blame to her ex-husband, she still manages to internalize a strong sense of shame and regret over her own shortcomings. This can be true even in cases where the wife has been abandoned by a straying husband or deserted by an irresponsible one.”

Friend, I’m here to tell you, even if you are failing or have failed miserably in your marriage, you can learn from your mistakes and have the type of relationship you desire in the future. The key is learning from your mistakes, not repeating them over and over. Running from relationship to relationship just so you can avoid being single is not a recipe for success. (Trust me, I tried that!)

It sounds super cliché, but take this season of singleness to learn about yourself, who you really are, and what you really want out of life and out of a life partner before you just say “yes” to the next piece of eye candy, or the next “guy/girl who makes you laugh or feel good”.
Third, there can be purpose born out of the pain you’re experiencing right now.

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I have learned really crappy situations can turn out to be great blessings in hindsight. Our struggles make us more compassionate and empathetic (words I didn’t even previously comprehend I was so far removed from them), which allows us to help other people who will struggle similarly in the future.

I remember the first time someone told me I saved their marriage by sharing the things I learned going through my divorce and preparing for remarriage, it made all those years of crappiness a little more worth it.
Fourth, you must derail the train of negative thoughts running the tracks around your brain.

When I went through my divorce, the biggest thing I felt – even greater than heartbreak or loneliness – was like a failure. And this stream of toxic, negative thoughts overtook my thinking. “You brought this on yourself. You’re not worthy of being loved. You’re too high maintenance. You don’t bring out the best in men. Just take what you can get, be thankful you’re loved at all. You couldn’t even hold your marriage together, what makes you think you can lead or impact people?” Does any of that sound familiar?

None of these thoughts are true. They are cleverly designed lies to drive you into guilt, shame and isolation – the place you are most weak and vulnerable.

Which leads us to our fifth and final point: be intentional about surrounding yourself with a healthy support group, especially in seasons when you feel yourself pulling away. Isolation is a slippery, dangerous slope. When we are left alone with only our own thoughts, it’s easy to get trapped in unhealthy patterns of thinking and feeling.

When you least feel worthy of reaching out and asking for help that is exactly the time you need to. Call a friend, go out for coffee, or just have them come over and talk with you.

Note: There is a balance to this. There are certainly times you need to learn to sit and be comfortable in your own skin; this isn’t about using other people as a crutch until you can find yourself a new beau. It’s about realizing there is strength is asking for support and letting people – who have no other agenda than just being your friend – be a friend to you.

You may be dreading the 14^th of February as the worst day of the year, and maybe you will spend the day locked inside your house crying your eyes out, but don’t be so blinded by your tears you lose sight of the fact that ultimately you have reason to be hopeful. Your relationship status is not all that you are or all you have to live for.

best days

Every year I pick a quote to put on the front of my planner, something I want to focus on for that year, kind of like a mantra. For 2013 the quote I picked was, “Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.” When I taped it on my calendar that January, I had no idea that by the end of those 12 months I would be engaged and remarried!

There is so much hope in that statement. So here’s the final thought I want to leave you with today: Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet either. Even if this Valentine’s Day isn’t one of them.

Order “Now What?” by Rachel Dawn