faith

Worthy of Joy

faith, grief, momming

I bought this sweatsuit for myself some time in the last month while out running Christmas errands. Because apparently in this season of my life, self-care looks like treating myself to cozy clothes. I put it on for the first time the day after my Daddy died. My son, Samson, is learning to read, so he points and asks what things say a lot right now, when he can’t make it out himself. He asked about my shirt, the cursive script throwing him for a loop. When I told him the word was, “Joy”, he asked me why I was wearing that, if I was happy Grandaddy died. I came close and I…

Continue reading →

4 Years Later

faith, grief, memoir, momming

Following the four year anniversary of my brother’s death, my therapist asked about the week of my life surrounding the date. I explained how I journaled about a piece of that time I had never considered before, “It felt like a new way to sit in – or with – my grief.”  And then he asked, how I am feeling [with all that] right now? And, I don’t think I answered him well. I pivoted to something else because I knew my grief had already taken up enough time in our session that day. But if I could go back to the conversation, I would have explained that in this season of grieving,…

Continue reading →

A House Upon the Sand

faith, grief, memoir

The moment my brother ended his life, the foundational level of safety and security I lived with for 36 years crumbled beneath my very feet. I felt the innate protection of my big brother growing up. When I started elementary school, I was never picked on on the playground because everyone knew he was also there. In middle school, if a boy broke my heart or wouldn’t take no for an answer, I only had to mention a name in front of my brother and the problem would be mitigated. But even as an adult, that layer of security was steady and sure. At 25, my first husband secretively walked out on me…

Continue reading →

It’s Got to Be Like Planning a Party, Right?

faith, freedom, grief, memoir

My mom plopped down across from me in the nursery looking hurried and determined as she readied to leave my house. She and my Dad had stayed with us three of the four weeks since my son was born, but today they were rushing back home. It had been less than 12 hours since the phone call that changed our lives. They were trying to beat the news back to my Grandmother – my Memaw – so she could hear about the death of her only grandson from them instead of Channel 12. They didn’t make it, by the way. The story broke before they could drive the three hours to their house…

Continue reading →

Sabbatical

faith, grace, Life Lessons, momming, Spiritual Growth, Success & Motivation

About 18 months ago, I was in a meeting with a client in Miami when the woman I was meeting with pulled a second person in the room. She announced she was leaving the company in two weeks, and this was her replacement. This was not entirely uncommon, but what happened next was. I asked her what she was going to do, “Are you staying in the industry?” “No,” she said, “I’m going back home (some country in South America) to take a sabbatical. I’m going to spend time with family and take time to figure out what I want to do.” I started crying. Right there, in the middle of her office….

Continue reading →

On Death, Loss and Resurrection

faith, grief, momming

Easter looked different for us this year. I hesitated to even post this picture because it is so shockingly deceiving. What you see is the smiling faces that have posed on this same back deck for the last 20+ years. What you don’t see is the pain, the heaviness, and the deep, deep grief that is carried behind each of those smiles. At first glance, you might notice my brother is missing. Not uncommon, as there were years in the past he was “too busy” to come to Easter. But, my brother died two years ago, so, of course, he will never be in another Easter photo again. That’s an image I’ve already…

Continue reading →

The Most Important Thing I Learned About Marriage

faith, Life Lessons, marriage, relationships, second marriage

In chapter 7 of Now What? A Story of Broken Dreams and the God Who Restores Them, I share everything I learned about marriage on my journey to my second wedding. The 👉 most important 👈 thing is what I am posting below, which I recently re-wrote in a message to a friend who is in the throes of a crumbling marriage. I have personally lived, and seen in other’s lives, the devastating effects of when we get this part wrong. It looks like months of barely eating, or getting out of bed. It looks like darkness, shame, isolation, and utter hopelessness. It looks like running for comfort in someone else’s bed. And…

Continue reading →

Two Weeks Ago, I Googled Myself

faith, freedom, Life Lessons

When the devil whispers a lie to you, it’s not random. It’s intentional. Deliberate. It’s the exact opposite of the Truth. The specific Truth he is trying to discredit in your life. It gives you a little insight into his playbook. Two weeks ago, I googled myself. It wasn’t out of arrogance, I promise, rather shear curiosity. Barry (my husband) and I were driving around town when he told me about a DJ friend of his from college, “He moved to L.A. and is like a real life, big time DJ. You can google him!” So naturally I thought, I wonder what happens when you google “Author Rachel Dawn”? So I did. To…

Continue reading →

Would All the Real Martha’s Please Stand Up?

faith, Life Lessons, Spiritual Growth

My friend Katie Reid just finished her book, “Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done” and invited me to be on the launch team. I eagerly jumped at the chance  – not just to help create buzz for my friend and her release in July, but a little selfishly, because the book sounds like it was written just for me. There’s a story in the Bible, in the book of Luke, about two women, sisters – one’s named Mary and one is Martha – who have an encounter with Jesus.  Martha invites him to their house for dinner, but spends the whole time doing things for her guest,…

Continue reading →

Catch Me Up: Permission to Be Imperfect

faith, freedom, grace, Spiritual Growth

You know what my favorite feature in the Bible App is? It’s the “catch me up” button. When I open the app and see I’m 5 days behind on a reading plan, it can be really discouraging. It’s easy for me to start spiraling into shame and guilt. I start to feel like I’m not doing enough spiritually, like I’m not a “good enough” Christian. And that can pretty quickly snowball into to overwhelm. I start thinking about all the things in my life I’m behind on, that I’m not doing “well enough” in. But one tap of the gear icon and “catch me up” shifts the dates of the plan forward so…

Continue reading →