relationships

I am a Failure

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships, second marriage, Spiritual Growth

Recently, I received a brokenhearted email from a friend. Her email read simply, “Today, I am struggling with feeling like a failure as a wife”. My heart wretched inside me. In a time and place not so long ago, I had uttered those exact words. I struggled with that exact thought in my own mind. Have you ever had those thoughts? I’m a failure. Damaged goods. Tainted. Too far gone. A lost cause. My divorce was the first time in my life I had failed at something. I failed at marriage. I couldn’t make it work no matter how hard I tried. My marriage failed. I failed. Therefore, I am a failure. That…

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A Pressure-Cooked Reminder

marriage, relationships

It’s funny, in the last few weeks there have been so many things going on in our life – MAJOR life changes: my husband quit his job and now works from home, I started a professional speaking career outside my current job, my editor got back to me with all the changes I need to approve in my book, we bought a house….. It’s been overwhelming. I’ve been overwhelmed. Stressed to the max- I can feel it in my body (and so can my chiropractor!) Naturally with all that going on, tension has run high in our home. My husband and I have been bickering and even arguing a lot, which is rare…

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Amazing Amazing Grace

grace, marriage, relationships

“The thing I find most amazing about amazing grace is the chance to give it out; Maybe that’s what love is all about.”  – I’m Not Who I Was, Brandon Heath This past week, I ran across the poetry and memoirs I wrote during the whirlwind five month romance that lasted from the day we met, to the day I married, my ex-husband. It was ironic, and a little heartbreaking to read. What I wrote most about was all the good things I saw in him and how bright our predestined future together was.  I wrote about seeing him through God’s eyes, the way He had created him, and all the things he…

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Your Fickle Heart

marriage, relationships

If you spend your whole dating career making decisions based on “following your heart”, what are you going to do after you get married and you and your spouse go into a [temporary] funk (because it’s going to happen), and your “heart” tells you your in love with someone else? Are you still going to follow your heart then?  Does your heart supersede your vows?  Then why bother even making them? No. You’ve got to figure out how to base your decisions outside of something as fickle as your heart. And trust me, you want to figure this out before you get married.

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The List

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

When I was 16, some well-meaning mentors of mine recommended I make a list of the things I absolutely wanted in my husband, from physical attributes to character traits. Four typed pages and 160 bullet points later, I had what a “perfect spouse” looked like to me down on paper. Things like: 2-5 years older than me, 5’8” to 6’2” tall, dark and moderately-short styled hair, nice abs, no visible tattoos or piercings, strong Christian example & leader (or striving to become), passionate with a clear, concise dream/goal/calling, makes me laugh, takes me on picnics, notices & remembers “the little things”…. you get the point. Some valid, some negligible, some ridiculously adolescent. The…

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A Word of Caution to the Girls Like Me

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

This is for the girls with Incredible Fathers.  I know it’s hard to imagine this blessing would require a word of caution, but bear with me… My father has exemplified what it means to be a Christian man, husband, brother, son and father every day of my life. I have never seen him waver. The strength and conviction of his character inspires those around him to be better themselves. I have watched him lead our immediate (and extended family at times) spiritually. I have seen him confidently assume leadership roles in church my whole life. He is always smiling and laughing. His countenance affects joy in every person he encounters. You just feel…

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Things I Learned in 2009

grace, Life Lessons, relationships

Sometimes despite all your best efforts, cautions, standards and tenacity you just get hurt. Sometimes you just have to let people go. Sometimes you end up hurting those you love most. Sometimes you just screw up and miss it all together. And in those times when you just don’t think you can get any lower or screw up any more… You find grace. And realize it’s all going to be ok. Sometimes you just have to let people IN, despite how vulnerable that makes you feel. Because in the end they will end up helping you grow, making you a better person. Sometimes you discover things about yourself you never knew. Some of…

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