I am a Failure

Recently, I received a brokenhearted email from a friend. Her email read simply, “Today, I am struggling with feeling like a failure as a wife”.

My heart wretched inside me. In a time and place not so long ago, I had uttered those exact words. I struggled with that exact thought in my own mind.

Have you ever had those thoughts? I’m a failure. Damaged goods. Tainted. Too far gone. A lost cause.

My divorce was the first time in my life I had failed at something. I failed at marriage. I couldn’t make it work no matter how hard I tried.

My marriage failed.

I failed.

Therefore, I am a failure.

That was the line of thinking that plagued me.  And my thoughts about myself only got worse from there.

Maybe you’ve been through a divorce too. Or maybe you got rejected from college. Or got in but failed out. Or filed bankruptcy. Or got fired. Or your business fell apart. Or you feel like you’re never good enough as a parent….. Maybe it’s the last week of the year and all you can think is how you didn’t get a single thing you wanted accomplished this year.

“I’m a failure” is the record spinning in your head, on repeat.

Whatever version of these thoughts have plagued you in your life, I am here to tell you how un-true those things are.

I am a living testimony sitting in front of you.  BECAUSE I failed in my first marriage, I became determined to prepare myself for remarriage. In the process, I was transformed – receiving and understanding grace and empathy for the first time in my life, among other things – and a purpose and calling was born out of that process.  I wouldn’t be who and where I am today if I had not gone through my biggest failure.

“You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to”

– Tenth Avenue North, “You Are More”

What you have done and who you are are not the same thing.  And don’t let any voices – internally or externally – tell you they are.

If you’re battling some of these thoughts today, go listen to these 5 songs. Let the words really sink in and replace that negative reel in your mind. Just see if you don’t feel a little more hopeful about yourself:

You Are More – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhDrzTQ5rn0
Gold – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PjrtcHJPo
Redeemed – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSyLqbP8Z4I&feature=youtu.be
Before the Morning – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JYGhQWgqq4&feature=youtu.be
Safe – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZAUq1-c8dw&feature=youtu.be