Nothing is Ever Hopeless

faith, Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

I have personally experienced the deep, agonizing pain of hopelessness in a marriage. Riding the merry-go-round of blame and shame and anger and bitterness. Being too exhausted to even try anymore.  Feeling like the only solution is out.  That the ONLY possible way either one of you can be happy is to leave and start over. But please trust me, even when it feels like it is….. I let the hopelessness swallow me whole once.  And it cost me my first marriage. I have caught momentary glimpses of this hopelessness at times in my marriage now, but I refuse to give up.  My mentality is so different now.  I stay hopeful.  (And pray…

Continue reading →

I am a Failure

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships, second marriage, Spiritual Growth

Recently, I received a brokenhearted email from a friend. Her email read simply, “Today, I am struggling with feeling like a failure as a wife”. My heart wretched inside me. In a time and place not so long ago, I had uttered those exact words. I struggled with that exact thought in my own mind. Have you ever had those thoughts? I’m a failure. Damaged goods. Tainted. Too far gone. A lost cause. My divorce was the first time in my life I had failed at something. I failed at marriage. I couldn’t make it work no matter how hard I tried. My marriage failed. I failed. Therefore, I am a failure. That…

Continue reading →

The One Thing

Life Lessons, marriage

Can I confess to you something I’ve been really good at? I’ve been really good at noticing “the one thing”. And that’s not a good thing. Our household is a little bit unique because I travel for my job, so my husband actually does most of the day-to-day keeping the house tidy and in order. I hire a house cleaner to handle the dirty work, because I don’t come home on the weekends to just clean my house either. But Barry does a lot to maintain while I’m out of town. But, I’m really good at walking in the door after a work trip, taking a look around and noticing the one thing…

Continue reading →

I Can’t Stand the Way He Loads the Dishwasher

Life Lessons, marriage

I heard an all-too-familiar story this week about a newlywed couple I know having the same kind of toxic, merry-go-round fights that were a constant, continual pattern in my life at one point. Young wives, can I share with you the two best pieces of wisdom I learned after failing miserably at my first marriage? First: Choose. your. battles. I know as you blissfully walked down the aisle on your wedding day you could never imagine your Prince Charming ever doing anything that would cause you to want to fight with him, but let me tell you a truth: at some point, he’s going to. Even if you lived together prior, there’s just…

Continue reading →

The Day I Was the Sun (Metaphorically Speaking)

Metaphors, Poetry

The mid-afternoon sky was cluttered with ripples of brush-stroked clouds that day, But the sky was still light. Splashes of bright blue broke up the cream and grey colored bodies of dirty air. The relentless sun made her best effort to escape the shadows. Beams of luminescence escaped small pockets in the puffy clouds that crowded the yellow ball. She danced along the outside of their darkening hues – making them three dimensional against their fixed backdrop. Bright white glowed along the edges of each one, Hindering their intimidating discoloration. In all their might, The clouds tried keeping her hidden that day, But she was far too tenacious to be averted. The air…

Continue reading →

The Best Days of Your Life

faith, Life Lessons, Success & Motivation

Every year, I tape a quote to the front of my planner, something I am going to focus on for the year. This is what I choose for 2013.  March of that year would mark 2 years since my divorce, and 3 years since my husband left.  2010 and 2011 were a blur, as everything I believed in and the picture I held of my life shattered in front of me. 2012 was the year God chased after me relentlessly, as I was running full speed away, and invited me into a new, fresh relationship with Him unlike anything I had ever experienced.  But I still struggled to see how my my dreams…

Continue reading →

Weighted Words

Life Lessons

The first time someone tells you they took notes on your talk, is a humbling and sobering moment.  You realize you’re not just talking anymore. I’ve always been a story-teller, but now my stories carry a weight and a purpose, and can change people’s lives. They always have on a smaller scale. Words are seeds. Seeds we plant in our own mind and our own lives, as well as in the lives of those we encounter.  A few weeks ago my church played a music video for “Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine that they remade.  You should go watch it, but for those of you with limited time I’ll attempt…

Continue reading →

Worth Fighting For

grace, Life Lessons

We ran into a Purple Heart Vietnam veteran in Vancouver, when my husband thanked him for his service, he turned and looked him intently in the eye and said, “you were worth fighting for.” Makes me tear up again just typing it. Though vastly underappreciated, what an incredible generation of warriors. And what an honor to be told we are worth their sacrifice, even at the times we don’t deserve or appreciate it. Kind of reminds me of Someone Else I know who tells me I’m worth fighting for even when I don’t deserve it….. #sundayfoodforthought

Continue reading →

A Pressure-Cooked Reminder

marriage, relationships

It’s funny, in the last few weeks there have been so many things going on in our life – MAJOR life changes: my husband quit his job and now works from home, I started a professional speaking career outside my current job, my editor got back to me with all the changes I need to approve in my book, we bought a house….. It’s been overwhelming. I’ve been overwhelmed. Stressed to the max- I can feel it in my body (and so can my chiropractor!) Naturally with all that going on, tension has run high in our home. My husband and I have been bickering and even arguing a lot, which is rare…

Continue reading →

Color-Blinded

faith, Life Lessons, Spiritual Growth

This is the most uncomfortable topic I’ve written about. Here’s the thing, I grew up in a small farm town in Kentucky, of the 1300 kids in my school, there were like 3 black kids, and I was friends with them. I wasn’t naïve enough to ignore that there were some people in my town and in my school who were outwardly racist – white people who hated the black families for nothing other than the color of their skin. But it didn’t make sense to me. I moved to the “big city” of Cincinnati two months after graduating high school and my black friend ratio went way up. It’s not like I…

Continue reading →