Tag: sister

A House Upon the Sand

faith, grief, memoir

The moment my brother ended his life, the foundational level of safety and security I lived with for 36 years crumbled beneath my very feet. I felt the innate protection of my big brother growing up. When I started elementary school, I was never picked on on the playground because everyone knew he was also there. In middle school, if a boy broke my heart or wouldn’t take no for an answer, I only had to mention a name in front of my brother and the problem would be mitigated. But even as an adult, that layer of security was steady and sure. At 25, my first husband secretively walked out on me…

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Inventory Your Losses

grief, memoir

The Shot Heart Round the County When my brother was 17, he made a half-court basketball shot that changed his life. He was not a basketball player, save for the one year he joined the team in elementary school, when he learned it was not his passion. But like a lot of kids, we had a hoop in our driveway and grew up shooting H.O.R.S.E. and P.I.G. on the makeshift blacktop court with cousins and friends. In our small, sleepy Kentucky town, high school basketball games were practically a social engagement. Everyone goes. Same with football. Local businesses sponsor the team and host special events at the games to boost attendance (and for…

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It’s Got to Be Like Planning a Party, Right?

faith, freedom, grief, memoir

Confetti, Hope and 3/16 My mom plopped down across from me in the nursery looking hurried and determined as she readied to leave my house. She and my Dad had stayed with us three of the four weeks since my son was born, but today they were rushing back home. It had been less than 12 hours since the phone call that changed our lives. They were trying to beat the news back to my Grandmother – my Memaw – so she could hear about the death of her only grandson from them instead of Channel 12. They didn’t make it, by the way. The story broke before they could drive the three…

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Little Sister, Please Remember

Life Lessons

A Response to “Big Brother, Don’t You See….” Little sister, please remember big brother isn’t perfect nor will he ever be if you put him on a pedestal one day he’ll let you down, you see. Little sister, please remember He’s a human being just like you You need to let him be Give him room to grow and grace To make mistakes, he’s free. Little sister, please remember if you adhere him to your standards he will never measure up always falling short of filling your half-empty cup. Expecting him to be perfect So critical we are But who are we to judge? Or to be setting the bar? So little sister,…

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Big Brother, Don’t You See

Life Lessons, relationships

A few weeks ago, I sat watching my niece and nephew play together.  I smiled and felt a sting of pain simultaneously as I watched the way she looked at him.  She never left his side; she needed to be everywhere he was, doing everything he was doing, at every moment.  And to use an antiquated expression, you would think he hung the moon by the look in her eyes. “It starts that young”, I marveled aloud to my husband. At 20 months she already idolizes her almost 3 year old brother.  I wondered at what age he would become cognizant of it, and how he would take to that responsibility – knowing…

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