The One Thing

Can I confess to you something I’ve been really good at?

I’ve been really good at noticing “the one thing”. And that’s not a good thing.

Our household is a little bit unique because I travel for my job, so my husband actually does most of the day-to-day keeping the house tidy and in order. I hire a house cleaner to handle the dirty work, because I don’t come home on the weekends to just clean my house either. But Barry does a lot to maintain while I’m out of town.

But, I’m really good at walking in the door after a work trip, taking a look around and noticing the one thing my husband didn’t do while I was gone.
While he is waiting for me to notice that he mowed the yard, picked up and vacuumed the whole house, and did the dishes, I walk in the door and go, “you didn’t take the trash out yet?”

I am very fortunate he hasn’t just given up on helping out around the house all together. A lot of men would have by now. He is amazing. And I am blessed.

But my careless words (even if said in passing) have required him to point out this nasty habit to me, embarrassingly, more than once.

I know a lot of wives actually struggle with this frustration. They could have washed every stitch of clothing in the entire house except for the one shirt their husband was looking for, but that’s all he mentions.
How quickly does that make you want to fly off the handle at them for being inconsiderate and unappreciative?

What we fail to realize when we mention “the one thing” is it sends the message to our spouse that no matter how hard they work or how much they do, it will never be enough, or good enough, for us.

Even if we acknowledge their good qualities and efforts in our own minds, we need to be more cognizant, with our words and actions, that we are communicating that to them. They need to know that we notice the good things and not just “the one thing” that doesn’t measure up to our standards.

In short, we need to be appreciative. Always. In all things. We need to speak and show more praise and thankfulness than criticism and demands.

I am the first person who needs to hear this reminder, but maybe you do too?