marriage

I Can’t Stand the Way He Loads the Dishwasher

Life Lessons, marriage

I heard an all-too-familiar story this week about a newlywed couple I know having the same kind of toxic, merry-go-round fights that were a constant, continual pattern in my life at one point. Young wives, can I share with you the two best pieces of wisdom I learned after failing miserably at my first marriage? First: Choose. your. battles. I know as you blissfully walked down the aisle on your wedding day you could never imagine your Prince Charming ever doing anything that would cause you to want to fight with him, but let me tell you a truth: at some point, he’s going to. Even if you lived together prior, there’s just…

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A Pressure-Cooked Reminder

marriage, relationships

It’s funny, in the last few weeks there have been so many things going on in our life – MAJOR life changes: my husband quit his job and now works from home, I started a professional speaking career outside my current job, my editor got back to me with all the changes I need to approve in my book, we bought a house….. It’s been overwhelming. I’ve been overwhelmed. Stressed to the max- I can feel it in my body (and so can my chiropractor!) Naturally with all that going on, tension has run high in our home. My husband and I have been bickering and even arguing a lot, which is rare…

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Amazing Amazing Grace

grace, marriage, relationships

“The thing I find most amazing about amazing grace is the chance to give it out; Maybe that’s what love is all about.”  – I’m Not Who I Was, Brandon Heath This past week, I ran across the poetry and memoirs I wrote during the whirlwind five month romance that lasted from the day we met, to the day I married, my ex-husband. It was ironic, and a little heartbreaking to read. What I wrote most about was all the good things I saw in him and how bright our predestined future together was.  I wrote about seeing him through God’s eyes, the way He had created him, and all the things he…

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Your Fickle Heart

marriage, relationships

If you spend your whole dating career making decisions based on “following your heart”, what are you going to do after you get married and you and your spouse go into a [temporary] funk (because it’s going to happen), and your “heart” tells you your in love with someone else? Are you still going to follow your heart then?  Does your heart supersede your vows?  Then why bother even making them? No. You’ve got to figure out how to base your decisions outside of something as fickle as your heart. And trust me, you want to figure this out before you get married.

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The List

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

When I was 16, some well-meaning mentors of mine recommended I make a list of the things I absolutely wanted in my husband, from physical attributes to character traits. Four typed pages and 160 bullet points later, I had what a “perfect spouse” looked like to me down on paper. Things like: 2-5 years older than me, 5’8” to 6’2” tall, dark and moderately-short styled hair, nice abs, no visible tattoos or piercings, strong Christian example & leader (or striving to become), passionate with a clear, concise dream/goal/calling, makes me laugh, takes me on picnics, notices & remembers “the little things”…. you get the point. Some valid, some negligible, some ridiculously adolescent. The…

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Ronnie & Nancy

marriage, second marriage

He was married for nearly a decade; they shared a common interest and career in filmmaking.  Their union produced a daughter by birth and a son by adoption, and the couple also lost a daughter.  She filed for the divorce – neither of them ever publicly commented on its causes or its reasons.  Instead, they remained amicable and cared capably for their two children.  Both continued to work in their chosen professions.  both continued to move in the same circle of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. Three years after the divorce he found the courage to marry again. He had met Nancy on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend.  After two years…

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A Word of Caution to the Girls Like Me

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

This is for the girls with Incredible Fathers.  I know it’s hard to imagine this blessing would require a word of caution, but bear with me… My father has exemplified what it means to be a Christian man, husband, brother, son and father every day of my life. I have never seen him waver. The strength and conviction of his character inspires those around him to be better themselves. I have watched him lead our immediate (and extended family at times) spiritually. I have seen him confidently assume leadership roles in church my whole life. He is always smiling and laughing. His countenance affects joy in every person he encounters. You just feel…

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