Resilience Defined

Life Lessons

Someone once told me I was the most resilient person they’d ever met. After my divorce I set out to study that word and embrace it. I couldn’t find any definition that encompassed the full value of the word to me, so I wrote my own: Resilience (Noun) – /rəˈzilyəns/ the ability to bounce back, return, or rebound after deterrence or defeat. Buoyancy. To push through, unscaved and un-slighted, any circumstance or situation. To proceed with resolute determination, giving no regard to attempted diversions,set-backs, let-downs, heartbreaks, poor judgements, unkept promises or disappointments. To recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune. The ability to spring back after initial plans or anticipations fall through. To…

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Ronnie & Nancy

marriage, second marriage

He was married for nearly a decade; they shared a common interest and career in filmmaking.  Their union produced a daughter by birth and a son by adoption, and the couple also lost a daughter.  She filed for the divorce – neither of them ever publicly commented on its causes or its reasons.  Instead, they remained amicable and cared capably for their two children.  Both continued to work in their chosen professions.  both continued to move in the same circle of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. Three years after the divorce he found the courage to marry again. He had met Nancy on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend.  After two years…

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A Word of Caution to the Girls Like Me

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships

This is for the girls with Incredible Fathers.  I know it’s hard to imagine this blessing would require a word of caution, but bear with me… My father has exemplified what it means to be a Christian man, husband, brother, son and father every day of my life. I have never seen him waver. The strength and conviction of his character inspires those around him to be better themselves. I have watched him lead our immediate (and extended family at times) spiritually. I have seen him confidently assume leadership roles in church my whole life. He is always smiling and laughing. His countenance affects joy in every person he encounters. You just feel…

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Surviving High School

grace, Life Lessons

Saw an article yesterday about a beautiful 16 year old girl who committed suicide over Christmas and I feel convicted to say this to my younger friends on here: High school, like many things in this life, in this world, is temporary. Keep the big picture in your mind at all times. I know it’s difficult, but think more long-term than what is happening this week or this month. Be about bigger things in life. Build your name, your reputation, on things of character. If you have really messed up and made a mistake, or made a fool of yourself – it’s ok, we’ve all been there. Apologize where necessary, forgive yourself and…

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The Lost Year

Life Lessons, Spiritual Growth

Driving around running last minute holiday errands, my husband says to me, “Babe! 2014 was such a great year.” “Yeah?”  I was racking my brain to think of any significant milestones or events. “Yeah. We got engaged, we got married…..” “Nope.     That all happened in 2013.”  I replied. “Ooohh. Then what happened in 2014?” “Exactly.” He paused for a minute while he tried to think of other things, “….Wow, I lost a whole year.” Today, January 1st, 2015 is the first time I ever felt completely unprepared for a new year.  I was not ready to write a 1- in the upper right hand corner of my page today.  Everything in me screamed…

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The Believer’s Freedom

faith, freedom, grace, Life Lessons

I remember the first time I had a revelation about this verse it set me FREE: “Everything is permissible–but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible–but not everything is constructive.”  – I Corinthians 10:23 What Paul is saying is you can do anything you want, but not everything is going to make you happy, or satisfied, or peaceful, or prosperous. Especially with where I was in my life at that point, I needed to know I wasn’t being told “what not to do”, that I could make my own decisions and God would still love me and forgive me. What I needed at that time in my life was not more rules and…

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Things I Learned in 2009

grace, Life Lessons, relationships

Sometimes despite all your best efforts, cautions, standards and tenacity you just get hurt. Sometimes you just have to let people go. Sometimes you end up hurting those you love most. Sometimes you just screw up and miss it all together. And in those times when you just don’t think you can get any lower or screw up any more… You find grace. And realize it’s all going to be ok. Sometimes you just have to let people IN, despite how vulnerable that makes you feel. Because in the end they will end up helping you grow, making you a better person. Sometimes you discover things about yourself you never knew. Some of…

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Discernment & Hearing Tim’s Voice

faith, Spiritual Growth

My friend Tim died suddenly. He was 35. I was with him two weeks prior, joking around, pushing, poking. Then his heart stopped beating and he was gone. I will never see him again on this earth. After his death, I was struggling with the decision of whether or not to attend his funeral or a Christian leadership conference that was coming up the same weekend.  We were going to be taking a friend with us to the conference who tried to commit suicide two weeks before.  As I contemplated the decision, weighing in my mind were things like being judged by other people for not going, and disappointing others if I decided…

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