Tag: divorce

What to do with the Death of a Dream

Life Lessons, Success & Motivation

Have you ever given up on a dream? Has life ever beaten you up or beaten you down so badly, you felt it was pointless to believe in a better or different future? In my book Now What? A Story of Broken Dreams and the God Who Restores Them, I talk about how after my divorce in 2011, I felt like my life was ruined. Like I had blown my chance at the dream life I pictured in my head, by mistakenly marrying the wrong person, and would just have to settle for whatever second-rate existence I could get from thereon. A divorce is not only the death of a relationship, but the…

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Wherever You Go, There You Are: How to Stop Running and Start Facing Life’s Challenges

faith, freedom, grace, Guest Blogs, Life Lessons, marriage, second marriage, Spiritual Growth

“Wherever you go, there you are.” That simple, yet profound, quote is one of my favorites.  It plainly illustrates the truth that you can’t outrun your problems.  No matter how far you go or how hard you try.  Wherever you go, you will be there and until you deal with you, your problems won’t go away. When I was working on my book, I had a vision for the second half to be a collection of stories from other people who had also been through what I called a “Now What? Moment”.  A moment when everything in your life comes crashing down around you and you stare hopelessly at the sky asking, “Now…

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I am a Failure

Life Lessons, marriage, relationships, second marriage, Spiritual Growth

Recently, I received a brokenhearted email from a friend. Her email read simply, “Today, I am struggling with feeling like a failure as a wife”. My heart wretched inside me. In a time and place not so long ago, I had uttered those exact words. I struggled with that exact thought in my own mind. Have you ever had those thoughts? I’m a failure. Damaged goods. Tainted. Too far gone. A lost cause. My divorce was the first time in my life I had failed at something. I failed at marriage. I couldn’t make it work no matter how hard I tried. My marriage failed. I failed. Therefore, I am a failure. That…

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I Can’t Stand the Way He Loads the Dishwasher

Life Lessons, marriage

I heard an all-too-familiar story this week about a newlywed couple I know having the same kind of toxic, merry-go-round fights that were a constant, continual pattern in my life at one point. Young wives, can I share with you the two best pieces of wisdom I learned after failing miserably at my first marriage? First: Choose. your. battles. I know as you blissfully walked down the aisle on your wedding day you could never imagine your Prince Charming ever doing anything that would cause you to want to fight with him, but let me tell you a truth: at some point, he’s going to. Even if you lived together prior, there’s just…

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Amazing Amazing Grace

grace, marriage, relationships

“The thing I find most amazing about amazing grace is the chance to give it out; Maybe that’s what love is all about.”  – I’m Not Who I Was, Brandon Heath This past week, I ran across the poetry and memoirs I wrote during the whirlwind five month romance that lasted from the day we met, to the day I married, my ex-husband. It was ironic, and a little heartbreaking to read. What I wrote most about was all the good things I saw in him and how bright our predestined future together was.  I wrote about seeing him through God’s eyes, the way He had created him, and all the things he…

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Resilience Defined

Life Lessons

Someone once told me I was the most resilient person they’d ever met. After my divorce I set out to study that word and embrace it. I couldn’t find any definition that encompassed the full value of the word to me, so I wrote my own: Resilience (Noun) – /rəˈzilyəns/ the ability to bounce back, return, or rebound after deterrence or defeat. Buoyancy. To push through, unscaved and un-slighted, any circumstance or situation. To proceed with resolute determination, giving no regard to attempted diversions,set-backs, let-downs, heartbreaks, poor judgements, unkept promises or disappointments. To recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune. The ability to spring back after initial plans or anticipations fall through. To…

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Ronnie & Nancy

marriage, second marriage

He was married for nearly a decade; they shared a common interest and career in filmmaking.  Their union produced a daughter by birth and a son by adoption, and the couple also lost a daughter.  She filed for the divorce – neither of them ever publicly commented on its causes or its reasons.  Instead, they remained amicable and cared capably for their two children.  Both continued to work in their chosen professions.  both continued to move in the same circle of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. Three years after the divorce he found the courage to marry again. He had met Nancy on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend.  After two years…

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Things I Learned in 2009

grace, Life Lessons, relationships

Sometimes despite all your best efforts, cautions, standards and tenacity you just get hurt. Sometimes you just have to let people go. Sometimes you end up hurting those you love most. Sometimes you just screw up and miss it all together. And in those times when you just don’t think you can get any lower or screw up any more… You find grace. And realize it’s all going to be ok. Sometimes you just have to let people IN, despite how vulnerable that makes you feel. Because in the end they will end up helping you grow, making you a better person. Sometimes you discover things about yourself you never knew. Some of…

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