A Word of Caution to the Girls Like Me
My father has exemplified what it means to be a Christian man, husband, brother, son and father every day of my life. I have never seen him waver. The strength and conviction of his character inspires those around him to be better themselves.
I have watched him lead our immediate (and extended family at times) spiritually. I have seen him confidently assume leadership roles in church my whole life.
He is always smiling and laughing. His countenance affects joy in every person he encounters. You just feel better after being around my father.
His love is unconditional.
Even when I have done things to disappoint him. He loved me enough to discipline me when I was younger, but would always hold me in his arms while I cried afterwards. Still today when I miss the mark, he wraps me in his arms and tells me, “it’s ok,” he still loves me anyway.
My father has a servant’s heart and is a true gentleman. He is always the first to open a door, lift heavy things, fix any and everything for anyone, give someone a ride, deliver a meal, and sow money generously. I have seen him go out of his way at his inconvenience to help people in need, pray for and with people, visit people in the hospital, deliver communion to people who were shut in, minister to hurting souls and baptize those in need. He truly loves people with all his heart.
I have never had to look past my father for an example. And I pray that I can emulate his example to the people in my life.
My father has tried every day of my existence to show me the Love of our Heavenly Father. And he has succeeded, as much as humanly possible. It is so easy for me to read about the character of God and believe it because I have lived with a glimpse of it my whole life here on earth.
I would say I’m biased, but anyone who has ever met my father knows every word of this is true. I have had multiple people reach out to me to tell me what my father has done for them and meant to them.
I know his brothers are more of the same and I am so fortunate to call the Pennington men my family.
I am blessed beyond measure to call Donald my Daddy.
With such an incredible example and standard of what a “real man” should be in my life, sometimes it’s easy for me to expect too much from other men. I remember the times I shouted at my ex-husband for not doing something the way my father would, or doing something he would never.
I will never forget the advice my mom gave me once when I was comparing him to what a “real man” should be….. she sweetly reminded me that my father has had a lot more practice at being a great man. He spent his whole life becoming “mister perfect”; that he didn’t start out that way, and it’s not really fair to expect that from a newlywed husband.
(And what wisdom from a woman who spent her whole life covering any faults my father may have had from her children, guarding his reputation, so we always had the best perspective of our father! She knew you can’t follow someone you don’t respect.)
It was a lesson I didn’t take enough to heart at the time, but one I will never forget.
This is not about “settling” for someone, it’s about acknowledging that you are both flawed individuals who need grace. With my husband now, I try to live with much more patience and grace, and the sweet expectancy that one day my child will get to experience having a father like my own!
But this will ONLY happen if I continue to help draw that out of him by loving and respecting him unconditionally, just as he is, at every step of the way. Not by letting him know all the ways he doesn’t measure up to Donald.